What it's Like to be a Mixed Girl (for Those of You Who Aren't.)

I would like to share with you a poem that really speaks to me. I read it for the first time in high school when I was in sophomore English.

What it’s Like to Be a Black Girl (for Those of You Who Aren’t)
By Patricia Smith

First of all, it’s being 9 years old and
feeling like you’re not finished, like your
edges are wild, like there’s something,
everything, wrong. it’s dropping food coloring
in your eyes to make them blue and suffering
their burn in silence. it’s popping a bleached
white mophead over the kinks of your hair and
primping in front of the mirrors that deny your
reflection. it’s finding a space between your
legs, a disturbance at your chest, and not knowing
what to do with the whistles. it’s jumping
double dutch until your legs pop, it’s sweat
and vaseline and bullets, it’s growing tall and
wearing a lot of white, it’s smelling blood in
your breakfast, it’s learning to say fuck with
grace but learning to fuck without it, it’s
flame and fists and life according to motown,
it’s finally having a man reach out for you
then caving in
around his fingers.

If you know me, you know that I'm a mixed girl. My mom is white and my dad is black. Before I tell you why this poem speaks so deeply to me, let me relay some of the comments that I hear from my friends, family and even strangers regularly.

"Your hair is so soft! ....for a black girl."
"Black people aren't supposed to have freckles, right?"
"What are you?"
"Can I touch your hair?"
"You act so white!"
"Why are you trying so hard to act black?"
"You're not black."
"You don't act black enough."
"You're definitely more white than black."
"You talk like a white girl."
"You have a pretty big nose for a white girl."

I could actually go on for days with comments from people who probably don't even realize how ignorant they sound. Let's clear something up: I don't act white, and I don't act black. I think that is one of the most ignorant things a person can say. Not only are you enforcing racial stereotypes by saying that someone is "acting" like a specific race, you are implying that I should act a certain way. I want to tell you what it's like to be a mixed girl (for those of you who aren't). I'm not quite as eloquent as Patricia Smith, but here goes...

Being a mixed girl is
always having to walk a thin line between not being "too black" and not being "too white"
it's wondering why your hair isn't straight like your white friends', and why it's not as curly as your black friends'
it's the constant struggle of not knowing just how to define yourself
it's being asked "what are you?"
and receiving compliments... always qualified by: "for a black girl"
or, "for a white girl"
it's trying constantly to be accepted for who you are
it's spending hours straightening your hair each morning
and perfecting that 'white girl voice'.it's spending hours, days, weeks looking for the perfect products
that will give you just the right curl in your hair
it's the men that want to 'try a black girl'
it's never being black enough and never being white enough
it's never enough.

There are always going to be people who are too ignorant to realize that making comments on how a person should act based on their race isn't right. I don't waste my time getting offended by these people, but I do wonder when the day will come that "...for a black girl." doesn't exist anymore.

-Brianna

Broadway Nails imPRESS Press-on Manicure

I recently recieved a set of imPRESS  nails by Broadway from influenster.com for reviewing and testing purposes. So as I'm typing, the pretty purple nails are still on, and I applied them 5 days ago. The package says they should last a week, but I did have to reapply them by putting clear nail polish on my nails to re-stick them. I did notice on the package after applying them, that it advises to avoid water for at least 30 minutes after application...I'm not sure, but I may have washed my hands within those 30 minutes. I guess that's why they aren't sticking as well as I had hoped.

Overall, I do love this product! Next time I purchse them, I will make sure not to wash my hands in the first hour...which seems pretty obvious now that I write it. The color is amazing, and I've had at least one compliment every day since I put them on. People ahve to do a double take before realizing they aren't my real nails.

I haven't had a ton of time lately to actually sit down and paint my nails, so these are perfect! Dry time was no time at all, and I've been washing dishes, and doing all other normal daily activities without any problems.

Definitely going to repurchase this product!

T.H.O.T

The other day as I was casually tweeting, I was called a thot. I honestly thought that someone was just ignorant and couldn't construct a simple sentence. "What the hell is a thot?" I asked myself before looking it up. This is what I found; the top two definitions on urbandictionary.com:

1. A Thot is a hoe. Plural: Thotties

2. THAT HOE OVER THERE 

 Now, the reason that this random twitter user (who I don't even follow) called me a 'thot' was because I replied to a friend that asked, "Ladies would u rather fuck a guy with great sex who won't call u afterwards or a guy with bad sex that'll stay around?" with "great sex."

Anyone who knows me should know that I'm just not a relationship kind of person. I haven't been in one in over 3 years, and right now I prefer to focus on graduating from college and running my company. I'm sure that one day I'll be in a place where I want all the lovey-dovey ooey-gooey sweetness that comes with a relationship...or maybe I'm just a Samantha and that won't ever happen. Regardless, I stand by my answer. I would rather have a guy who gives me great sex and we don't have to talk afterwards than have a guy who gives me terrible sex and is on my jock all the time.

I'll admit that I did get upset for like, a minute, over being called a hoe. But it's nothing new to me, nor to many women who choose to be open about their sexuality. After that minute of being upset that someone who does not even know me would call me a hoe, I got over it and moved on. But it did get me thinking. Why is it, that in the year 2014, a woman is still considered a 'hoe' if she's not completely chaste in every way? I know men my age who have had sex with over 50 people. At the age of 22, that means they have had sex with an average of 8.33 people every single year since they were 16. Some started earlier, and some started later. That's not to say that I don't know women who have slept with a comparable amount of people.

While I am sexually active, I certainly don't just have sex with every single man I meet. I'm extremely picky about the men I talk to and sleep with. I have a serious problem with the fact that men can be 100% open about their sex lives and nobody bats an eyelash, however the minute a women mentions anything about having sex with anyone other than a man she's in a committed relationship with, she's automatically a hoe. Yet, all men want a women who's a freak in the bed. That freaky-ness doesn't come from having 100% chaste relationships, gentlemen.

Let's not even get started on the issue of how a women dresses and what she gets called for not wearing the most modest of clothing. That's another argument for another day.

All I'm saying is that, I'm 22, I'm 1 year from graduating college, I own my own business, and I love sex. Meanwhile, I've never had a STD or STI. I don't have HIV or AIDS. And I don't have a baby. So I guess if being a normal, sexual person while being successful and careful makes me a hoe...I'm a hoe.

-Brianna